Everywhere you look, someone’s talking about how lonely we’ve all become.
There are headlines calling it a “crisis of connection,” TED Talks declaring a “loneliness epidemic,” and studies tying it to declining health and rising despair. It’s framed as one of the great catastrophes of our post-COVID world, right up there with climate change, inflation, and AI anxiety.
But here’s the thing: I don’t buy it.
Yes, some people are lonely. That’s always been true. Yes, doomscrolling is real. Disconnection happens. I’m not here to invalidate the very real pain some people feel. But I think the widespread narrative has gone off the rails. It’s become too easy, too reductive, and—ironically—too isolating.
We’ve confused different connection with no connection.
And by doing so, we’re ignoring the most extraordinary shift in human communication the world has ever seen.
The Internet Didn’t Kill Connection. It Supercharged It.
Technology, especially social media, has fundamentally changed the way we connect. That doesn’t mean it destroyed connection. It means it looks different now.
You can keep up with friends across time zones. You can instantly message people you care about. You can comment on a life update, send a meme that signals “thinking of you,” or post something you’re proud of and watch people celebrate with you. You’re not limited to one circle anymore. You’re often part of many.
That’s not disconnection. That’s distributed connection. It’s ambient intimacy, and it’s real.
Sure, it might feel shallower than a heart-to-heart at a campfire. But it’s also more frequent, more scalable, and, when used with intention, can lead to even deeper in-person relationships than ever before.
Where Are All These Supposedly Lonely People?
I’ve asked around. I know hundreds of people, and I can’t think of one who seems to be experiencing the kind of bone-deep, epidemic-level loneliness we keep reading about. Most people I know are busy—balancing group chats, Facetimes, DMs, Discord servers, in-person hangs, and local meetups.
That’s not to say that everyone is thriving. But what’s missing from the loneliness narrative is a recognition that people are connecting. They’re doing it in new ways. They’re doing it imperfectly. But they’re doing it.
And when we keep shouting “epidemic,” we risk pushing people further into shame, as if their digital connections don’t count or aren’t good enough. That’s not how we bring people in. That’s how we push them away.
Yes, Some People Are Lonely. And That’s Exactly Why I’m Writing This.
The real tragedy is that the people who do feel isolated may not be hearing the right message. The most lonely of us are not getting the inbound love and support they deserve. And when they finally do stumble upon something online, it’s often a grim diagnosis: “You are alone. Society has failed you. It’s an epidemic.”
I want this piece to be something else entirely.
I want it to be an uplifting signal in the noise.
I want someone out there, someone who maybe does feel disconnected, to read this and realize that the tools to build connection are right in front of them.
And more than that, I want you, dear reader, to do the same thing I’m doing: tell your story.
Write about the moments of connection that light up your life.
Share that small community gathering you went to last weekend, or the new friend you made at a coworking space, or the deep talk you had in a group chat at 2 a.m.
Let’s fill the internet with stories of how beautiful, weird, chaotic, and alive the modern human experience really is.
From URL to IRL
One of the greatest gifts of the digital world is how easily we can start a connection. But it’s our responsibility to take it somewhere.
Don’t just follow someone. DM them. Don’t just join the event page. Show up. Or better yet, create your own gathering. It has never been easier to organize a local hike, a dinner, a meetup, or a coworking session. Post it. Promote it. People will come. I’ve seen it happen again and again.
We are surrounded by magic. But you have to move toward it. ✨
The Future Is Brimming With Connection
This isn’t a call to deny pain. It’s a call to reframe the story.
The world is not collapsing into solitude. We are not becoming husks glued to screens. If anything, we’ve built a thousand new doorways to each other. We just have to walk through them.
So let’s stop mourning some version of connection that only ever existed in movies and myths. Let’s start celebrating the ways we’re finding each other today. Online. Offline. Wherever we can.
And if you’re feeling alone? You’re not. You’re reading this. That means you’re already connected.
The next step is yours.
If you’d like some help getting started and you live in or near New Hampshire, consider checking out my complete guide to NH’s startup ecosystem.
Cheers!